20th year

In an hour and 22 minutes I will turn 20 years of age. I will turn 2 decades old. I will have lived for 630,720,000 seconds. I will have taken countless numbers of breaths and would have thought millions of thoughts. I will have eaten probably more food than necessary and drank way too much soda pop. I have probably walked the equivalent of our nation...twice. (Just an estimate no scientific research has been done) I will have lived for 20 years on this little blue dot we like to call Earth. I was born on a day that is up for debate. The story itself changes a couple times. I woke my mother up at 3:00 am on January 20th and came into this world at about 10:30 am and from that moment on, life became real. Whether or not I knew it was another question. Of course the natural form of life ran its course and I began to grow. I came to 5 years of age, 10 years, 15 years. I made it to a sweet sixteen and I saw 18 pass by. But something about 20 really gets me. I tend to look at it differently I suppose. Maybe it's because I see it more as decades. And honestly, "decades" is an intimidating word. I kept asking myself, "What have you done in 20 years? You've lived for 20 years and have accomplished nothing!" Well, as some of you know, that is true to some degree. There is a lot I have not accomplished. And there's a lot that a 20 year old should have already experienced that I have not. What can I say? I've never been on a date. I've never been kissed. I've never done drugs. I've never been drunk. I was never invited to parties. I've never been clubbing. I've never been to the graffiti garages in Tacoma. I didn't graduate with high ranking. I didn't go to a university. I don't have an engagement ring on my finger. That goes hand in hand with the whole "no date" thing. There's a lot of things that 20 year olds have done and are known for doing that I have not done. Now granted a lot of the things I mentioned before are negative but it's 11:00 at night...cut me some slack. But here's some things I know. I know that in my 20 years of life I have been loved by the greatest people in the whole world. I have the best friend in the whole world who would see me through anything (my brother). I have battled and defeated suicidal thoughts. I have escaped the trap I had put myself in. I went to high school. THAT is a major milestone. I participated in sports, clubs, shows, choirs, and a whole slew of other things while living on a island. I took AP classes and passed the AP tests. I excelled in classes. I have jumped off the roof at Dockton Park. I've also ran cross country..which in hindsight was a dumb decision. I have stood at the edge of a cliff and dared to look down. I have felt the wind whip through my hair in more than one location. I have seen the horizon stretch into the distance all the way down the west coast. I have breathed the air of new countries. I graduate college in the spring with my Associates degree. I have become a nerd that any nerd would be proud to be. I have studied and memorized and taken apart and pieced back together more music than I can recall at the moment. I have loved people for who they are not as the world would want them to be. I have been to a Seahawks game...where I hugged complete strangers. I have given people my trust; some for the good and some for the worse. I have understood what it means to live. And the only reason I can say I ever did any of that is because I have the army of GOD on my side. And the commander in chief, Jesus Christ, thinks that in my 20 years of life, there was something worth fighting for. I made a lot of mistakes. I walked down paths I never thought I would have come back from. But every time, my Lord comes back for me. Every day He fights for me. He fought for me when I was 5. He fought for me when I was 10. He fought for me when I was 15, 16, 17, and 18. And right before I turn 20 I just want to let you all know that as I sit through this last night of 19 years old, God has seen me through every single second, every single moment, every single tear, every single laugh, of 20 years. In exactly one hour it will be my 20th year of life, and I will be celebrating with the One person who got me through all of those years. I love Him. He's pretty great. I wouldn't trade one second of any of it.