Understanding Women

What a daunting task. I am a woman and I even find it very difficult to understand them. In fact, it’s such a paradox that most of the time I don’t even understand myself. I have a dear friend who would look at me and say, “Why are you the way you are?” And while most of the time his question is all in jest, it is a valid assessment. Why are we the way we are? Is it a general mishap in our genetic makeup? Is it something we’ve been programed to do? While many people struggle with the idea of the female mind I would like to stand as a voice. Not necessarily a voice of defense but also not a prosecuting voice. 

I would like to suggest a simple theory. In order to understand this theory you have to imagine that you’re inside the mind of said woman. I know it’s very difficult but hang in there with me for just one second. Now imagine all the visual stimulation that society is fed with. It all seems quite harmless, does it not? But what is that in the corner of her mind? What is that shivering, scared, crying individual in the corner of her mind? It is called an “insecurity.” And yes, I am now personifying the mindset. Whether or not women will actually admit it (and that’s one of the things that men can’t stand; us not admitting things to them or ourselves even) we all have insecurities. Even the most charismatic and charming woman in the entire world (if she exists) has the deepest insecurities. And while this woman views the outside the world, that shivering and crying insecurity gains strength. See, women don’t have an issue with something until there’s a simple voice in their head that says, “You could be like that” “You should be able to do that.” In fact, sometimes it disguises itself as an encouragement; as a challenge to defeat. 

Now I believe in the supernatural. I believe that there is a loving God but that there is also a fallen angel who is set on destroying every life he possibly can. His name is satan. And while I would chalk the little voice up to him, I know that there could be readers who wouldn’t. But believe me when I say, it is. In addressing the woman who is saved, she knows the truth. And she truly desires to hold on to the truth that the Lord has placed in her heart. She desperately wants to hold onto the truth that she IS good enough that she doesn’t HAVE to be a certain way or be able to do a certain thing. Believe me, being a follower of Jesus Christ is wonderful, but it also comes with so many attacks from the devil. If you’ve never heard the devil’s snickering or his voice whispering in your ear, then I congratulate you. You’ve done better than I have. But what begins to happen is the insecurity that was so small is now taking over not only her mind, but her heart and her actions as well. That woman has now allowed her body to be driven by this insecurity. It is now the driving force; the engine, if you will. This results in our indecision. This results in our crazy outbursts. This results in fits of emotion. This results in the destruction of our very souls. Buying into that insecurity destroys the powerful woman that has been overtaken by something that once started so small. Now in addressing the woman who has not placed her heart in the hands of Jesus Christ, I cannot IMAGINE what she must be facing; how vividly she is hearing the voice of the devil who would desire to tear her down and to bring her to a place where she is destroying herself. I cannot fathom the fear that plagues her very existence as she attempts to find fulfillment and esteem in the tools of the devil himself. 

Please, understand me. I am not defending these actions by any means. I am not saying, “Cater to the women of today’s society because we’re breaking ourselves down.” Instead I would like to suggest something. I would like to suggest a solution to this problem. First of all, I would have to be 100% honest with you. Jesus Christ is the answer to every insecurity. He is like the giant eraser that can erase even the smallest of insecurities so it doesn’t grow into something that takes over. But only the Holy Spirit can bring you to a place where your heart accepts that fact and receives that love. My writing can only be used as a tool for Him to use. 

But to the men who deal with us, I would first like to say, I’m incredibly sorry. I am truly sorry for the “yes” that suddenly turned into a “no.” I am incredibly sorry for the time she broke down crying because she was convinced you hated her. I am incredibly sorry for every moment to come when she questions everything she knows in her heart of hearts to be true. But I would also say, thank you. Whether you know it or not, you have been used in the building up of women everywhere and will continue to be used. But you also have a great responsibility with that power. It is easily used for good but can be manipulated into something that can also destroy. It’s not your fault we put so much stalk in your opinion. Understand that when we do, it means we see something in you that we trust. It means that we feel safe enough to value what you think of us. And I know that some of you may or may not be ready for that kind of responsibility but know that most of you have been given it already. Just be gracious and kind. 

I know that this won’t solve the problem of understanding women. And I know that as far as women go, we may never understand them fully. Like I said before, I don’t even understand them. But I thought I would send my opinion out there for consideration. Maybe you’re reading this and something clicks. Maybe you’re a woman who is struggling with insecurity in one form or another. Maybe you’re a man who is struggling with understanding the mindset. Or maybe you don’t care at all and I just wasted your time. But hey, it was your decision to keep reading. Keep your head up my charming readers. It’s not as bad as you think.

Love,

Me