The Truth Behind Loneliness

Do you know what loneliness is? Can you grasp its depths? Do you understand that it's not just a word? It's not just a feeling. It's a wound. It's a knife. It digs into your flesh till you're numb. The first time it stabs you, you cry; you scream in pain. The next time it stabs you, you can barely breathe. It takes everything in you to not pass out. But the next time loneliness comes with her knife, you don't even feel it. It cuts through that first layer of skin as if it was cutting into rotten fruit. The second layer isn't even noticed by loneliness. She wants to cause as much damage as she can. She goes deeper and deeper, stronger and stronger, again and again and again and again until you finally can't feel her anymore. The stabs mean nothing. You place a band aid over a gaping wound. It's like putting duct tape over a crack in a dam. It only holds it back for so long. You pretend you're fine. You pretend it doesn't bother you. You smile politely. You have to. Heaven forbid you let them see you hurt. Heaven forbid that band aid come off. Heaven forbid they see your heart for what it really is. You see, because that knife? That knife has found its way to your heart. That knife has found the core of who. you. are. And that knife-that feeling of loneliness-is planning on staying. She's made a nice home inside your soul. "But you're better than this" you tell yourself. "You're better than to be run by this feeling; this emotion; this nonexistent hurt." "You're better than this" becomes your mantra. It becomes your banner. It becomes the peg you hang your life on. Because you are better than this. You have to be. You should be. It is your duty to be. "And really why should you be lonely? Why should you feel hurt? You have so many people around you!" Loneliness mocks you. She laughs as you bleed out, all the while hoping no one will notice. Finally you have enough and so you rip the band aid off thinking it might be best to just let it bleed. Let it heal itself. Things have to get better. That's when you cry. That's when you scream. It feels just like the first time loneliness came. The pain didn't change. It hurt just as much as it did before only this time the wound was deeper. The wound was bigger. 

But what happens when you meet the Healer? What happens when, in the midst of your loneliness, you meet the One who can bind your wounds and heal your broken heart? What happens when you scream and He is the only one who hears you? Because when you meet Jesus Christ face to face, He heals you; He makes you whole. He sees the pain. He sees the loss. He sees how deep that wound actually goes. Because He knows. You see, in John chapter 19, Jesus Christ experiences the deepest form of loneliness. For once in His time on earth-for once in His life-he was completely and utterly alone. And He wasn't just on His own. But His Father could not even look at Him. And why? Why did He feel this loneliness? Because He loved me enough to say "I see her mistakes and I see her sins and I still want her. I want her to be with me." And He took my sin and my wrong doings away from me and placed them on His shoulders. And in the moment His holy and righteous Father could not look upon Him. The sin of millions upon millions of people could not be looked upon by a Holy and Righteous God. And in the moment that Jesus took the sin of all the world upon Him, He was alone. And He had to exist in that loneliness for a few moments afterwards. I don't know if you've ever heard this story or if you've never heard this story but it happened. The Son of God for once in His existence (which was before the beginning of time) felt pure and true loneliness. 

The truth of the matter is, loneliness is destructive. She is one of the most destructive mindsets to find yourself in company with. In fact, if you dance long enough with her she will kill you. One of the things that we need to realize is we are never alone. There is always a voice. There is always someone. And there is always the Savior of the World. In fact He desperately wants to talk to you. He doesn't want you to feel alone. He wants to come in and show you that loneliness doesn't exist in His light. Loneliness becomes this small, barely existing memory. I know this isn't your typical Gospel message, but it needs to be addressed. If you are suffering with loneliness right now, there's not a need to suffer any longer. Call on the name of Jesus and I promise you, He will come. What do you have to lose? And if loneliness has grabbed ahold of you and you don't see a way out of it other than ending your life, there are people specifically designed to love you through this. 

National Suicide Prevention Hotline:

1-800-273-8255

Talk to a pastor: 

1-888-937-2471 

Or leave a comment in the comments section below and let me talk to you. But please understand, you are worth more than this moment of loneliness! You are more than the lies you are believing. And I wouldn't be able to tell you these things unless I hadn't dealt with this already. YOU ARE LOVED! 

Love always, 

Me